Carver Rayburn

I’m not sure where I should start or if I should even write this, but I have no one else to tell this to. Carver’s disease caused unspeakable pain, but it also saved my life. Carver and I were roommates at Harbor House Treatment Facility in the spring of 2010. I had been there a week or so before he arrived. It was my first time in rehab, so like many addicts, I spent most of my time saying the right thing and counting down the days until I could use “like a normal person”. And then the tornado that was Carver entered my life. He challenged me on my sincerity. He challenged me on my politics. Hell, he’d even challenge me on the breakfast cereal I chose each morning! He, not the counselors or doctors, made me realize for the first time that I had to get sober for myself if I ever wanted a chance of it lasting. I missed my twins’ first steps while in rehab. I missed their first birthday. Carver constantly reminded me that I was missing those events so that I never had to miss another one again. And I haven’t. On 2/22/21, I celebrated 11 years sober. Over the years, Carver and I drifted in and out of each other’s lives, and in recent years our connection dimmed as we both navigated the shark infested waters that we call adulthood/fatherhood. Regardless of the time that has passed and will continue to pass, I will always hold Carver Rayburn close to my heart. Carver’s physical presence may be gone, but he lives on in me. He saved my life, and I hope his son knows what a hero his father was. As a proud Southern Miss alum, I shout to the heavens “Hotty Toddy”!! I love you, Carver Rayburn. When it’s my time, I look forward to working on the “Afterlife Dispatch” newspaper you have no doubt already begin planning. Prentiss Smith – Brookhaven, MS

Prentiss Smith – Brookhaven, MS